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Musicians

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Re: Musicians

Postby ka-tet19 » Mon Jan 21, 2013 5:21 am

so music people i'm reading the absolute strangest thing about tips on recording. this is an exact quote simply talking about microphone placement

"Time to make the assistant wish he was dead. Tell him his job is to loosen the various fixtures on the boom stand holding the SM57 enough to allow him free and unfettered range of motion to 'sweep the speaker' with the mic. THAT IS...... He is to SLOWLY sweep the head of the mic around the cone in a continuous fashion until you hear something you're LOVING for 'steady state tone'.

Get 'twinkie' to play some VERY REPETITIVE chord stuff that omits the 'chugging' for a couple of minutes. Tell him that when you need him to stop playing, he must stop playing IMMEDIATELY or you will fucking KILL him. Pet the handgun every sane engineer keeps on top of the console lovingly, like a favorite cat, as you say this. Look purposefully and coldly THRU him and say these EXACT WORDS.

"IF YOU DON'T STOP PLAYING EXACTLY WHEN I SAY STOP... I'M GOING TO SHOOT AND SHOOT AND CONTINUE TO SHOOT YOU UNTIL I RUN OUT OF AMMUNITION..... THEN I'M GOING TO RESUME SHOOTING YOU AFTER 'ASS-BOY'(point at shivering assistant) GETS BACK FROM THE GUN SHOP WITH MY REPLACEMENT AMMO". Anything short of this type of explanation/arrangement will usually NOT provide the necessary results. This person is a guitar player. They have the intellectual capacity of freshly mown grass. Do not ALLOW them to think. That will doom the record. Cause band to switch to 'rap metal'. Compel them to start whispering in a really corny tortured voice about their miserable childhood growing up in a trailer park in Florida. Bring about pestilence. Locust. Scorched Earth. Mass destruction.

OK.

Time to get twisted into form.

Tell 'ass-boy' the INSTANT he hears the guitar stop playing OR he hears YOU TELL HIM TO STOP. He is to stop 'sweeping the speaker' with the SM57. Get busy. TAKE YER TIME. Drive 'ass-boy' and 'twinkie' nuts. DON'T fucking rush! Feel free to make them sweep and play/stop. Sweep and play/stop until the fucking cows come home. Fuck them. You have to learn the 'range of tone' possible with this sound/mic/pre. FEEL NO GUILT. LANGUISH. GET A SLURPIE. ANSWER PHONE CALLS AND EMAILS. NO HURRY. WATCH 'EXTREME DATING'. NO FUCKING HURRY. FORCE GUITARIST TO PLAY THE SAME FUCKING RIFF OVER AND OVER. AIM GUN AT HIM IF HE TRIES TO CHANGE THE RIFF OR HURRY YOU IN ANY WAY."
whatever becomes has already happened before the after thought began at all
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Re: Musicians

Postby ka-tet19 » Sat Apr 26, 2014 8:41 pm

got a 7string a month or two ago. im very happy.
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