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Vamp (No working Title)

PostPosted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 12:01 pm
by Ruliya
It's a story about Vampires. Something I will work on later, but for the moment has been put on the Back Burners. I'll start with Chapter 1 and see what responses I get ^^ I hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 1
The wind howled down the naked alleyway as a woman in her early twenties ran down it, her long, waist length blonde hair streaked behind her. She was breathing heavily, as though she had run a long way; she looked behind her as she ran, clearly she was running from something. Her head turned back to view the alleyway she was running down when she shrieked in terror as she bumped into a tall guy clad in leathers who grabbed a hold of her as she hit him.

Tears streamed down her face as she pleaded with him to let her go, to let her live. The guy only smiled, a thin evil smile and lifted her up off the ground, he spun her around and held her tightly from behind, one hand across her belly another grabbing her breast, his chin resting against her shoulder.

The girl sobbed, her unintelligible cries for help muffled as her throat was choked with fear and panic. Why had she thought running down a secluded alleyway was the best option of escape? Her mind reeled with the prospect of what was about to happen to her, she was probably about to be raped, and her body dumped in the alleyway not to be found for days.

He was whispering something in her ear, though stricken as she was she didn’t hear a word of it, but she did feel his groping hands squeezing her breast and holding her tight. And then she felt a sharp pain in her neck, she instinctively moved her head as far away as she could, alas exposing more of her neck in doing so. She felt teeth penetrate her skin, and the hot rush of blood coursing down her neck.

She suddenly felt so weak, and yet felt waves of euphoria washed through her, this mix of pleasure and agony caused her to thrash about in his arms, but he held her tighter still. The blood trickled down her back under her tight shirt, undoubtedly staining the white with sickly red. Her cries had stopped and had turned to freakish moans of pleasure.

Within seconds she felt utterly drained and drooped in his arms, as she fell he laid her down on the ground. His hands now free he used one to wipe the blood from his mouth, pulling out a dagger with his other. He used the dagger to slice his wrist which he held over the poor girls barely opened mouth, the blood dripped down, as if being poured from a mug. She gulped down the viscous fluid without realising what it was.

After a few seconds she coughed loudly, and her body violently thrashed about on its own, this lasted about twenty seconds and then her body went still. The guy stood above, watching the frantic scene, no specific look on his face, as if this wasn’t the first time he had done this heinous act. How many other people had he knowingly butchered or bitten? No one other than he would really know.

He stood patiently as the seconds passed slowly, until the girl awoke gasping a large intake of air.

Rachel sat up quickly putting a hand on her forehead and curling her knees up to her chest; her hair was messily strewn about behind her. The duvet now only half covering her naked body. That same nightmare had woken her up at the beginning of every night for the past year, ever since the night it happened. She cursed Dorana for doing it to her in the first place, and yet she loved him so regardless. She looked to the side of her at an empty space on the bed; as usual he was already up and about somewhere.

It hadn’t taken her long to get used to this new life, or un-life of hers. All thanks to the guidance of Dorana, her sire. The whole experience of being turned was a true nightmare; she had no wonders as to why it awoke her every night, and figured it’d probably wake her up every night for the rest of time.

She got up and walked into the kitchen, it was cold in the apartment, but besides being naked she didn’t feel it at all, being dead sometimes had its advantages. Opening the Fridge, she was presented with an array of choices, blood packs, bottles of blood, even the odd vial, small portions of blood for an emergency. She took out a pack of A+ and ripped it open, pouring the thick liquid down her throat. How weird it had tasted to her once untainted lips, now it was just as anything else. She drank lots of it without a second thought.

Smirking she thought of the first time she had to take blood. “Come on,” he had told her, “it’s not as bad as it seems, see?” He took a bottle of blood and drank it all down in one go. She had made a face, as though she was going to puke and he had laughed. It took about an hour of convincing, but he finally talked her into taking a taste. At first she had spat it straight back out again, going yuck as she did. But the second time, her face contorted in revulsion but she managed to gulp a mouthful down. Blergh! She didn’t like the taste, no she did not, not one bit; but a year of drinking blood to survive however, had changed her mind considerably.

She walked over to the huge glass window which covered the whole left wall of their penthouse suite. It was snowing outside, not something too unusual in New York, but it was getting thicker as time passed. She looked over to a digital clock on a stand next to their huge TV. The time was coming up to ten. She walked back to the bedroom and got dressed. She walked out in a black corset, dark blue jeans, and large black military boots, her blonde hair was now dyed crimson red and hung down to her shoulder blades.

Just then the front door swung open and a man dressed in a black suit minus the tie and with half the top buttons undone walked in, he had long black hair and swaggered into the lounge. Rachel caught sight of him and smiled, “Hey sweetie, welcome back.”

“Ah Rach, I’m glad you’re here, and dressed. We need to talk,” he said jumping over the back of the couch and landing in a perfect slouch, an arm draped across the back.

She walked in front of the couch and stood in front of him, staring into his eyes suspiciously, “Why? What have you done this time?” she accused.

He looked back at her, mock hurt on his face, “Me my darling? I have done nothing that would upset you, this night at least.” A large smile crept onto his face.

She continued to stare at him for a few more seconds, “hmm okay.” She shrugged, “So what do you need to talk to me about.”

“Dramos has informed me about a meeting,” he said, his face now serious, “Tomorrow. We’ll have to leave soon to catch a private jet to Stockholm tonight. And you know what that means. We’ll be having that special someone present.”

She looked at him, surprise crept onto her face, but she hoped he didn’t notice it, “You mean?” she asked incredulously.

“Yea, I know, right?” he said grimly casting a hand over his mouth as he said it, pulling it down his chin.

Rachel gasped, for it could only be one person: Veneficia or the Poison Queen as she was now known. She was the Vampire Matriarch for the whole of Scandinavia. Rachel had heard rumours that she was over a thousand years old, not that she looked it, but then vampires didn’t age. According to legend she was keeping watch, waiting for her master’s return. Mordacai was a legend in his own right, one of the original seven Vampires created by the so called Dark queen. Oh yes, she’d heard a few of the big stories about those from Scandinavia, but of the vampire sects and covens across the world? She didn’t know much about them.

“But why would she show up now?” she wondered aloud, pacing up and down, Dorana just stayed silent, waiting until, “Wait, why are you telling me?” she stared at him a finger pointing towards him accusingly, “No...No!”

“Yup, I suggested taking you along, and Dramos thinks that it’ll be good for your ‘development as a fledgling’ and I couldn’t agree more” he laughed standing up and holding onto her hands, keeping her steady.

She eyed him up, staring daggers into his eyes, “but...I mean...” her body twisted left and right, her hands tensed up gripping his hard, “now?”

He nodded and then turned and led out the door, into an elevator and down into the underground parking area. The place was brightly lit, but the stone gray walls just looked ugly. They walked along a little way, and there in front of them was an expensive jet black two-seater sports car. Dorana jumped into the driver’s seat, and Rachel nervously walked around and into the passenger’s seat. Rachel loved the Lamborghini and had practically begged him to buy her it, even though he enjoyed driving it as much as her.

He turned the key and the engine roared into life, he stamped his foot down on the accelerator pedal and the car launched forwards, turning almost on a dime up and out of the parking bay and up onto the streets of New York.

As the car drove through the Manhattan streets Rachel turned to Dorana and asked, “Why are we flying all the way to Stockholm exactly?” and when he stared at her she added, “Stupid question I know, but I have to ask, I am new to this after all.”

He flashed a grin, as he concentrated on driving perilously fast, “Ah, I do forget sometimes sweets. Well the Poison Queen hasn’t called a meeting like this in over a century, which means something big’s going on.”

“But why exactly do we have to head back to Sweden?” she asked, and he looked at her for a second with a look of resignation on his face and the gravity of the situation dawned on her and she looked back out of the windscreen.


The black Lamborghini pulled up outside of the Sanatorium Club just after two A.M that morning. Dorana climbed out, as two guys clad in full suits walked up to him. Dorana threw the keys to the first guy, a medium built white guy, telling him not to scratch the paintwork. The second one, a tall, stocky black guy, with dark glasses motioned for him to follow. He walked across the pavement, winking at two girls who were at the front of the queue, and went straight past them and into the club. As the outer door closed, and they walked through the entrance hall, a wall of heavy metal hit him like a ton of bricks. He followed the guy through thick crowds of partygoers into the back of the club, up a pair of solemn looking stairs and into a V.I.P room at the top of the club, overlooking the clubs main stage and dance floor. Being a Saturday night of course, the club was heaving.

The sound was muted slightly inside the V.I.P room. As he entered he noticed two people in suits stood guard outside, and inside, there were four other suits stood about. The room was kitted out with three large sofas and two large tables, covered with drinks. The room was full of vampires, and one of them, a tall black guy dressed in a fine navy blue suit got up and walked over to him.

“Dorana!” he exclaimed as he shook his hand, “glad you could make it man!”

Dorana laughed, “But of course Dramos, you know how much I love your club.”

Dramos smiled, his arms flung out gesturing the whole building, “It’s the best place in town right?” he laughed again, “You know you’re always welcome here man.

“Sit down, sit down,” he gestured to an empty chair on the far side of the room with glass floor, and large windows looking down into the club below. He moved and sat into a chair opposite and clicked his fingers, “Hey, a drink for my man Dorana!”

Dorana nodded as he sat down, accepting his beer, “Nice to see the place as packed as ever, business is good then?”

Sitting down himself Dramos replied, “Yea man, good as ever. Humans,” he chuckled, “hell they’ll come in their millions for music and beer, and when we make it cheap as fuck, it’s like a fast food stand.” His bald head gleamed in the bright lights of the room.

The pair talked for an hour about the club, current goings on within the city, and a few tales of past adventures before Dramos rubbed his bald head and his face dropped into a look of seriousness, “Hey buddy, look,” he hesitated and stared at his friend for a long time. Dorana sat patiently supping his drink, “I’ve heard from some contacts in Sweden.

Noticing the expression on Droana’s face he looked concerned and a little sympathetic, “Yea man I know, but they’ve heard of your exploits over here, and they asked for you personally.”

“Damn,” he said to himself, shaking his head, “I guess when you’re good, they want you.”

“Exactly man,” he agreed, “but hey, you are the best. And look, take that new girl of yours. She’s a bit wet around the ears still right? This will really throw her into it,” he burst into a laugh.

He laughed nervously with Dramos, he wasn’t nervous about taking Rachel, he was nervous about what it meant, “But they have plenty of agents like me over there in Europe.”

“Nah man,” Dramos said shaking his head and downing his drink, “Way I hear it, the Poison Queen herself is involved, she called this meeting.”

Dorana looked incredulously at his friend, “Meeting?! Damn, that means there’s going to be quite a few Elders there.”

“Oh yea man,” Dramos roared, “Might need to buy ya’self a new suit.”

“So, when’s this meeting exactly?”

“Ah right, yea. Thing is, it’s Monday evening, I got ya a private jet booked to take ya to Stockholm tomorrow night at eleven. Do not miss it.”

The serious subject now concluded, the two friends got more drinks and partied until sunrise.


Dorana drove their car into JFK airports secured parking facilities. The pair made their way through the airport and into the executive lounge, where they headed straight to the departure bay. There they met a representative who led them down a flight of stairs and outside to a small coach, which took them out to their plane. There, they were met by a refined young man who was to be their pilot. After the small pleasantries they boarded the plane.

Walking onto the plane they took their seats in the small private cabin. Rachel stared intently out of the window at the slowly falling snow flakes, each of them a speck of perfection around for only the shortest period of time. She smiled sweetly at the thought that she could be around long enough to watch a thousand snowy nights.

Just then a large guy with long black hair down to below his waist, and a long black beard walked onto the plane, his large black leather trench coat trailed across the ground as his heavy metal boots thundered on the deck as he walked to a seat at the back and sat down, the coat looked so ancient, as if it had seen a millennia. And maybe it had, after all he was probably a vampire like them, otherwise why would he have been chartered onto this jet? She looked over at dorana who just shrugged back, neither of them knew who he was, but the attendants were making a huge fuss over him. The man himself said nothing, as silent as the night.

A separate waitress brought the two a selection of beers, which they took politely and after a half hour of checks, the pilot indicated he was ready for takeoff. Rachel sat back in her seat and looked towards the front of the cabin as the plane picked up speed rumbling its way across the runway, until it built up enough speed and took to the skies.

Re: Vamp (No working Title)

PostPosted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 12:24 pm
by TheSorrow
I'm eager to see what's in store for Rachael at the Stockholm gathering.

Re: Vamp (No working Title)

PostPosted: Sun Jun 17, 2012 9:31 am
by Ruliya
Chapter 2

The plane touched down at just after four in the morning. Awaiting the duo was a woman in a black suit with a short skirt; she was holding some files in her left hand, clutched to her chest. She led them outside to a Limousine, the three of them entered the limo and it pulled out of the airport onto the highway leading from Stockholm to Uppsala. Their destination was a massive mansion built on the outskirts of Stockholm, surrounded by acres of forest.

Inside the limo the woman who had met them at the airport had introduced herself as Layttia, an aide to the Clan leaders who met at the mansion many times for an array of different reasons. It was her responsibility to look after and be caretaker to the mansion. She arranged the meetings of the various heads of the clans, and made sure everything ran smoothly. She was in charge of the hundreds of staff within the mansion, all of them humans who had been enlisted from around Scandinavia, none of which knew that the place was the home of an ancient vampire matriarch.

“You have been called to this meeting at Viking Manor by request of the heads of clans, you understand of course what this entails?” she asked Dorana, a glare coming from underneath her small round glasses, which being a vampire, were completely aesthetical.

“Yea this isn’t my first time at Viking Manor, I was here long before you were sired,” he sneered.

She took his yes as affirmation that he did in fact understand all that this meeting meant, the snide comment, she ignored. She did however raise an eyebrow in the direction of his female companion, “And who, pray tell, is this?”

He glanced over at Rachel, who was sat a little nervously trying not to look important, and blushing when Layttia mentioned her, “Her? This is Rachel, my new mate. Why?” he asked indignantly, “You have a problem with her?” he growled a little bearing his fangs.

Her face remained a picture of composure, this was not the first time, nor would be the last time a vampire had challenged her in this manner, “Not at all,” she answered calmly, “We were just not aware that you were bringing a plus one, is all.”

Over the course of the next hour of riding she informed the duo of who would be there and what was expected of them. It seemed that all the heads of the Stockholm covens would be there, a few major players within vampire circles across the globe, Dorana wasn’t the only apparent superstar – as far as the term superstar went in conjunction with a vampire – who had been called here, he noted several names including the deadly Chio twins who were some of Xianghua’s brood. Xianghua was the Vampire Matriarch of China and had some deeply rooted hatreds for Veneficia and her brood. An old hatred that, rumour and legend had it, spanned back to the thirteenth century.

Rachel felt overwhelmed at the list of names, she had only been sired a year earlier after all, and here, she was going to be at a meeting with some of the most powerful and influential vampires in the whole of Europe, and a few from the rest of the world. She suddenly regretted him bringing her, she felt that she would do or say something that would be highly detrimental to his role here. She was so afraid of upsetting him, for he had a famous temper and an ugly reputation for what he would do to those who embarrassed him, especially in front of such an array of vampire royalty.

They arrived at the Viking Manor and were shown to their room by one of the human servants. Rachel had been in awe of the wondrous entrance hall, it was cavernous, with statues and stairways and doorways leading to what seemed everywhere. They were lead up the large central stairway which had a crimson red carpet inlaid in it, the carpet led from the base of the stairway to the top and the branched out across and down all the separate corridors on the second floor. She just could not get over the immense size of the structure, which from the outside had looked like a medieval castle, its grand walls and buttresses seemed so huge that they would swallow her up, and there was a dazzling display of windows lining the whole front.

“Man, that was boring,” he told her when they were alone in the room. He sensed her uneasiness and pulled her closer, “What’s wrong?”

She held him tightly, “I...I shouldn’t be here, I don’t belong...”

“Shhh, don’t be silly,” he comforted her, stroking her fine hair.

“But...” she was still in awe of the names, and couldn’t speak, even though her mouth opened and closed nothing came out.

He knew what she was worried about though and dragged her down onto the bed, “Don’t worry about all those vamps that will be coming tomorrow, or indeed may be here tonight. That’s for me to worry about, you,” he said kissing her gently, “you just enjoy your moment being here.”

Her mood swiftly changed from one of worry to one of fervour as she held his face and kissed him back. Soon the clothes were off and the last of the night was spent in a heat of passion and wild sex.

The sunrise was elegant as the sky streaked red and orange as the sun rose over from the east high into the sky, where life within the manor was ablaze with the servants working, cleaning and cooking, making grand feasts and setting up astounding shows for the big night that would start at around eight o’ clock as the sun would dip down below the world this high in the hemisphere.

Rachel awoke with her customary nightmare at around seven; the sun was still up, but barely, as dusk had just set in. Dorana was already up and rummaging about the room getting dressed. He noticed her usual wakeup call and called over to her, “Good evening babes. Still waking up to your embrace?” he asked, and when she nodded, a hand covering half her face he just laughed, “I swear, you’re the first vampire I’ve met who’s been haunted by their embrace, maybe I should ask one of the thermaugists of the Tremere clan, those blood magik wielders might know something.”

She waved it away with her other hand, “Don’t worry about me sweetheart, don’t we have a party to get to?”

“Ah yes indeed, we better get ready,” he nodded in the direction of the wardrobe, “In there should be something suited just for you.”

Still naked, she got up out of bed and made her way to the wardrobe, opening the big double doors she looked in, and there was a long dark red dress hanging on a hanger. She looked over to him and he had a huge grin on his face, and a smile burst onto hers, she pulled the dress out and instantly put it on, twirling about, showing it off.

Her trim, perfect figure looked unbelievably gorgeous in the dress and Dorana’s face just dropped. Her breasts showed ample cleavage and her waist was cocked to one side with a hand laid on it, the other in her hair, her beauty made him stumble as he was putting his shoes on and she just burst out laughing.

He was wearing his simple black suit, minus the tie, the top three buttons hung open, just as he was last night. To him, it was his usual attire, so why should he change it just for an important meeting? He laughed at the idea as the two of them walked into the huge ball room situated in the west wing of the building.

Confident of her alluring appeal Rachel wasn’t as nervous as she had been the previous night; especially not now that she entered the ball room on the arm of one of the most revered of the Scandinavian vampire aristocracy. Many pleasantries were uttered, and she was shown off to many of the vampire clans, she didn’t care all that much that she was viewed pretty much as a pretty object. She enjoyed being desired by half of the room, and disdained by the other half, before long she was the talk of the whole party.

But then being on the arm of the infamous Dorana, she wasn’t entirely surprised. A man who had been sired in the sixteenth century, one of the last Daylight Walkers, as they were known. Those of his lineage required no sleep or rest and could even walk in the sunlight.

During the scientific revolution in England and France, vampire scientists had discovered massive degradation within the vampiric blood, handed down from master to sire for generations. The further from the Dark Queen, the original of all the vampires, you got, the lower the amount of actual ‘true’ vampiric blood was in a vampire. It was eventually determined in the latter half of the twentieth century when technology had allowed vampire scientists to delve deeper into their own DNA that originally the vampiric haemoglobin mixed with the human haemoglobin and transformed it into vampiric haemoglobin. The weaker the vampiric blood got, the less amount of vampiric haemoglobin was transferred, which resulted in lesser human haemoglobin transformation into vampiric haemoglobin. Until eventually the two separate strains mutated into a new strain of haemoglobin, one which granted many vampiric powers, but instead had many weaknesses too. The foremost being annihilation by sunlight. This was caused by a rapid breakdown of cellular structure when the new haemoglobin was exposed to UV radiation, leaving only trace amounts of dust.

Rachel had been told this one evening after enquiring as to why he was able to walk in sunlight and yet she wasn’t. Being sired by him, a day walker, she had asked why she herself was unable to then walk in sunlight, surely the passage of time hadn’t degraded his own vampiric haemoglobin as he was able to still walk in sunlight. He had explained that his generation was the crux of the problem, he had just enough vampiric blood to transform his human blood, but not enough that when transferred to a new human it wouldn’t be enough to completely transform all their human blood, causing the swift mutation to form a new strand.

She had come to except this and wasn’t ever shocked if she was to awake to an empty bed. This probably meant that after their heavy sex sessions, he would go out and do whatever, while she would invariably fall into a state of rest so her body could recuperate while the sun was up.


At midnight the pair walked into a massive over indulgent stateroom. Rachel held Dorana’s arm but stayed slightly behind him. The room, which was nearly full looked over and stared at the newcomers. Almost everyone had arrived, she noted, seeing all the elders sitting on large, lush chairs in a semi-circle in front of a massive oak desk, which looked elegant in design. There was something about it, as she looked, that just screamed seventeenth century. Behind the desk was a magnificent high-backed chair which appeared to be from the same era, it currently sat empty.

Stood to one side of the room she saw the Chio twins, wearing their trademarked cheongsam, Ryoko wore hers in red and Ryana wore hers in blue. They were conversing with two other well known vampire assassins. Zangief Konovich was one, he was a giant of a man at almost eight feet tall, and he hailed from the wastes of Siberia. Before he was turned they said he made his living in Moscow by fighting fully grown bears, as a vampire he was nigh on invulnerable and so powerful he could stop a moving train, or so the rumours persisted. No one really knew, for there weren’t many who lived to tell of his exploits. The other was an Englishman, the so called James Bond of the vampire world, dashing and frightfully beautiful; he was fast, silent and most of all deadly. No one really knew his real name; they all simply called him the shadow.

They all stopped mid conversation as they saw Dorana approach, having left Rachel on a plush couch at the back of the room, out of the way.

“Not talking about me now are you?” he said arms wide walking up to them.

Da Tovarisch,” Zangief said laughing, and grabbing Dorana in his tree trunk sized arms and gave him a crushing bear hug, this, unfortunately for the recipient, was how Zangief always greeted his friends. Luckily all his friends were vampires and therefore dead, but strong and so were never injured...too much.

“Nothing too bad then, I hope,” he said gasping as he was put down. The twins just stared at him; their disdain for him was clear in their eyes.

The Shadow, debonair as always held out his hand, which Dorana grasped and shook, “Always a pleasure old chap.” Of the four of them, The Shadow was probably the oldest. He was originally a spy for Queen Elizabeth the first.

Just then a group of five vampires entered, the final ones, now as soon as the Poison Queen arrived the meeting would commence. Only a few minutes passed, enough time for the final five to take their positions and two large doors at the rear of the room opened and a small woman entered, she wore a long, flowing white dress a complete contradiction to her pitch black hair that fell from her head and trailed atop the dresses large train.

As all eyes were forward, staring in awe at the Poison Queens entrance, Rachel noticed the front door open, and a tall man sneak in. Stifling a gasp by placing both of her hands over her mouth; she noticed that it was the same mysterious man who had been on their flight from New York to Stockholm. He quietly closed the door and walked over to the couch. Sitting down next to her, all his leather creaking as he did so, his hands lifted his long hair from his dace as he sat.

Poor Rachel blushed heavily and automatically looked away. She didn’t mean to be rude of course, but she just couldn’t help herself. He looked so old for some of the garments he wore made her think he might have been the oldest vampire in the room, the Poison Queen included, the garb just looked, medieval. And then unexpectedly she found that she couldn’t keep her eyes off him. He didn’t seem to notice, thankfully. It was only when she heard a loud female voice pierce the silence that she drew her eyes off of him and turned her head towards the front of the room.

“I have gathered you all here for a single reason!” her voice rang out around the room, and she paused for dramatic effect, “She has been found!” such emphasis was put on the word ‘she’ that the crowd reacted in many ways. Gasps of disbelief, cries of outrage, and several elders had gotten out of their chairs and railed at her.

The mysterious man next to Rachel laughed quietly, it was such a deep, guttural laugh he sounded positively evil, the epitome of what mythic lore described a vampire to be. He seemed to address her with a slight of hand, while not actually looking at her and said to her in hushed tones, “Such an uproar over one person! Can you believe it? Hah! And one who’s probably a fake.” Rachel looked at him slightly confused, though he seemed to expect no answer from her and he continued, “I mean this isn’t the first time ‘she’ has been ‘found’, hence the uproar.” She silently looked back towards the group, who had now quietened down.

“This time we have proof,” Veneficia said as if daring the baying crowd to contradict her, and when no one did she clicked a button on the desk and an image appeared on a screen placed on the back wall, to the left of the desk. It showed a solid photograph of a Japanese woman with long black hair, dressed in what looked like an ancient Japanese kimono.

“Now that,” the mysterious man said quietly, startling Rachel, “Is a face I have not seen in a very long time.” He sat stroking his beard, and only noticed after a few moments that she was staring at him in wonder, “that is the inevitable ‘she’ everyone is talking about.” He pointed at the screen.

She looked over and sighed a little, muttering “huh” as she did, and then not believing herself she actually spoke back to him, “I’m afraid I don’t know what anyone is talking about I...”

“Yes, I can smell your freshness fledgling.” He said to her, that deep voice reverberating throughout her soul, “Not to worry, come,” he gestured with a hand standing, “Let us leave this place, it is not for the young, or the old to worry about. Hence your boyfriend over there.”

“I really don’t think I should...” she started but he took her, rather gently by the hand and led her out of the room. She looked pleadingly towards Dorana, but he didn’t see her leave, too engrossed in the great debate taking place amongst the gathered crowd.

Re: Vamp (No working Title)

PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2012 6:48 am
by Matapiojo
Can I ask what your influences for this story are?

Re: Vamp (No working Title)

PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2012 8:51 am
by Ruliya
Matapiojo wrote:Can I ask what your influences for this story are?

A fair number of years ago I started writing a story that takes place at the turn of the century 1200. It was to do with a young Japanese girl being the reincarnation of an ancient Goddess. Now the Dark Queen has been awaiting this girl. I got about 35k words into it before deciding to go a slightly different way with. I still need to do more research on historical activity of the time before I rewrite that. Though I might post some of it here.

Leading to this story I really wanted to flesh out my ideas for the Vampires and maybe have it as a tie in story.

The only works I drew influence from was Troika Games' Vampire the Masquerade Bloodlines video game which I loved. I was very intruiged by the secret world and how their society worked and evolved.

I hope that answers your question ^^ Do you like it so far?

Re: Vamp (No working Title)

PostPosted: Tue Jun 19, 2012 12:43 am
by Commander Cross
@Madamoiselle :P

I do, just when will we get to know the sort of thing I might ask, do you? :oops:

Re: Vamp (No working Title)

PostPosted: Tue Jun 19, 2012 7:23 am
by Matapiojo
Ruliya wrote:I hope that answers your question ^^ Do you like it so far?

You did, and I do.

There is a TON of Vampire source reference out there for you. While not absolute, Vampire: The Masquerade does have a lot of lore for you to consider. If nothing else, you should be aware of the more popular vampire themes so you can include/avoid in your story as necesary. It really kills one's creative process to pour your heart into a piece of fiction, and have readers immediately predisposed to quit it because its too similar/oposite to a piece of fiction they love/hate.

Welcome to creative writing...

Re: Vamp (No working Title)

PostPosted: Tue Jun 19, 2012 1:24 pm
by Blood Dancer
Commander Cross wrote:@Madamoiselle :P

I do, just when will we get to know the sort of thing I might ask, do you? :oops:

Cross, I really hope you are not talking about copulation. If you are, damn it!, this is a pg-13 forum, not kama sutra-land.

If you are not...then don't mind me.

Re: Vamp (No working Title)

PostPosted: Tue Jun 19, 2012 2:23 pm
by Ruliya
Blood Dancer wrote:
Commander Cross wrote:@Madamoiselle :P

I do, just when will we get to know the sort of thing I might ask, do you? :oops:

Cross, I really hope you are not talking about copulation. If you are, damn it!, this is a pg-13 forum, not kama sutra-land.

If you are not...then don't mind me.

It's actually a little bit worse, on the Winners thread he was asking me to write him a lesbian erotica story about Dragon Age Warden and Leliana. I assumed he was asking me again >.> So I ignored it.

I should be putting up Chapter 3 soon!


I'll keep that in mind. Though I'm trying to make up my own lore and history for my Vampires ^^

Re: Vamp (No working Title)

PostPosted: Tue Jun 19, 2012 6:21 pm
by Blood Dancer
Ruliya wrote:It's actually a little bit worse, on the Winners thread he was asking me to write him a lesbian erotica story about Dragon Age Warden and Leliana. I assumed he was asking me again >.> So I ignored it.

I am not surprised he made match - archery tournament - featuring Leliana where one of the specifics was that Lelian was in a relationship with the Female Warde. I don't know how that affects...

Regardless, back in my day (and I am 23) the only person I wanted to see a girl kiss was myself. Damn you interwebz. It's One thing to accept lesbianism as a way of life, but it's another to be a perv about it.


If you don't want to bite the dust a yourself a favour, get a Girl. Better than watching and "fapping".

Also, Not all lesbians are drop-dead gorgeous (note that I am taking taste into consideration, so the concept of gorgeous varies and I am applying mine), there are average looking and downright unnatractive. That goes for "straight" people as well and damnit not all women are lesbians - though there are studies that prove the existence of female sexual fluidity - that's something Porn wants to sell you.